Who I Am

Yesterday, it finally hit me how bizarre my life is. For me, I’ve always just been living my life, so I found it so weird (and somewhat uncomfortable) when people were intrigued with the way I was living it. Many people have expressed how impressed they were, or how they’ve felt inspired when they’ve heard my stories. As I’ve never really thought of it as being a big deal, I’d usually just smile and shrug it off. But for some reason, yesterday I think I saw my life through an outsider’s eyes and all of a sudden, I felt somewhat shocked about how I’ve been living my life. Six months ago, I didn’t know the group of friends that I have in Melbourne now – I had a completely different group of friends in Warragul. And six months before that, I didn’t know the group of friends that I had in Warragul – I had a completely different group of friends in Saskatoon. AND six months before that, I didn’t know the Hudsons friends that I had in Saskatoon – I had a group of friends in London. For the last two years, I’ve changed locations at least once every six months. Actually, this is the longest I’ve stayed in one country without leaving (even on holiday) since 2014, and it’s only been nine months here! I’ve changed houses (just five times in the past year), I’ve changed cities and countries, and I’ve changed friends. That’s not to say that I was unhappy in any of those places, by any means! I went through a one-month depression after leaving London – stayed on the couch all day everyday, and refused to talk to anyone. I was devastated when I left Saskatoon and second-guessed myself multiple times on whether or not I should go to Australia because I loved my job and the people I worked with (and told everyone I’d be back in six months). I was so sad to leave Warragul because I had finally gotten myself settled in Australia for the first time, and had an amazing group of friends (I mean, come on, I stayed waaaay longer than I needed to). And now I’ve only been in Melbourne for three and a half months and I’m already petrified about leaving for my Asia trip. I think that for the first time in my entire life, I have mixed feelings about going on a holiday. I’m so excited to see and experience new countries, but I’m also scared that when I come back four months later, everything will be completely different. I’ve already done this multiple times with Saskatoon and had to learn to accept that things wouldn’t ever be the same as when I left, but do I want to do this with Melbourne as well?? In a way, I’ll be starting all over again. I’ll have to find a new house, and some of my friends may be gone doing their farmwork (or gone completely!) so I might have to find new friends as well. So the question that’s going through everyone’s head (including mine) is what has created this urge in me, to pick up and start over every six months? I mean, it DOES get exhausting after awhile. But the message that my friend sent me keeps ringing through my head (and I’ve written about it before): “You have this wonderful drive to be someplace other than home. Some people can’t leave home. You make home wherever you are.” And I guess she’s right. Even though it’s SO hard to take that first step, once I get settled with a house and a job, everything else sorts itself out. I’ve made amazing connections with multiple people everywhere I’ve gone, and have made friends that will last a lifetime. I still have people who I haven’t seen for over five years, or even over ten years, and we’ll still message or FaceTime each other to catch up.

I always yearn for new experiences. I never want to fall into a routine. If I start wasting my time doing the same thing everyday, or fall into the trap of coming home after work and watching tv, I know it’s time to move on. That was the habit that I got into while in London, as well as in Saskatoon. It still hasn’t totally hit me in Melbourne, and maybe that’s why I’m uneasy about leaving for Asia. I want every day to be a new day. Today, I walked to a beach after school because it was 20 minutes away, so why not? The other day when I didn’t get work, I went and picked up a pumpkin to carve (and you’ll all drop your jaws when you found out that I paid $17 for it!) because why not (other than the price)? I don’t think I’ve ever had a weekend without plans since I’ve come to Melbourne – there’s ALWAYS something going on, and there will ALWAYS be someone willing to go along. I’ve really started putting myself out there since I moved to Melbourne because it was so difficult to meet people when I was in London. I’ve started monthly Canadian wing nights, I’ve started Food Clubs – where a group will go for dinner every 3-4 weeks, and I find every event to invite people to. And all I have to do is post on the Melbourne Canadians Facebook page asking, “Anyone want to go to the Ukrainian Festival?” or “Anyone want to go for wings?”, and 9 times out of 10, at least one person is interested. Or I’ll just write my friends. But I’m sure my friends are annoyed with me constantly writing, “Hey, wanna go here?” “Hey, wanna do this?” all the time. I just want as many new experiences as I can get! I started falling into the TV habit before I went on my holiday to Tasmania so since I finished my holiday, I don’t allow myself to watch any TV shows. The only exception is if I’m having dinner and have nothing else to do, and in that case I’ll only watch a 20-minute Modern Family or Big Bang Theory episode – none of that 42-minute stuff cause who takes 42 minutes to eat dinner anyway? (In reality, I probably do since we all know I’m a slow eater). Life is meant to be lived! Even though I guess my way of living is a little out of the ordinary, I know I’m enjoying every day of it. And I encourage everyone else to do the same! Find something new to appreciate every single day, don’t sweat the small stuff (or even the big stuff for that matter), and create new connections wherever you can. Ask a co-worker to go for drinks, say hi to someone at the pub, be vulnerable! It might seem weird to people at first, cause our society has started getting used to being more closed off with the amount of technology that’s around. But if someone puts you down for being too friendly, then there’s something wrong with them, not you. Only you can create your own happiness, and your own story, so write a story that’s worth reading about! 😊

Who I Am – Saivs

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